Chapter III.

My trip to Cheryl in Del Sol Valley was nothing short of terrible. I couldn't stop replaying the awful things that Cheryl had said to me. It soured my mood, and any determination I had left to write my autobiography was dwindling away quickly.

Upon my return home, Milo had been extremely eager to hear about how it went. I thought about lying to him, telling him that it went amazingly, but my mother Danica always said I was an open book. I never had a good poker face.

"How did your meeting go with Cheryl, babe?" He asked me excitedly. Oh you poor naïve soul. I tried to contain my irritation, it wasn't Milo's fault it went badly. It certainly wasn't Milo's fault that Cheryl was rude.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to stop me from snapping at him immediately. My meeting was a trainwreck, I was a trainwreck, and my career choice felt like a huge joke. Absolutely perfect, if you ask me.

"Fucking awful." I snap. I could see Milo wince at my curt response. I felt bad, but I was too angry to apologize at the moment.

"I'm sorry babe." He replied quietly, afraid of upsetting me any more. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talking about it doesn't change the fact Cheryl Burkey is a bitch." I say angrily, staring at the wall. "Or the fact my 'autobiography' is fake, and I'm an awful author." Milo winces again, but stays silent. This angers me even more. I just told him what was wrong and now he's going to stay silent?

"Why'd you ask if you weren't going to say anything, dude?" I jab again. Now I've done it, I've pissed my husband off.

"Don't take it out on me, Knoxica." Milo snaps at me and rightfully so. I'm being an absolute menace to him right now.

"I've done nothing but support you throughout this wild fantasy of yours." Milo begins to lay into me. "I know becoming an author is a slow process, but I'M the one who's working 50, 60, 70 HOUR WORK WEEKS." Milo's voice is getting louder by the minute.

"If it was SUCH A PROBLEM, why did YOU agree that I should do this." I yell back. I felt the tears hit the waterlines of my eyes, but I'll be damned if he sees me cry right now.

"Because I fucking love you, and I want to see you live your dreams!" He fights back.

"You just called my dream a fucking WILD FANTASY." I am angry at Milo now. You never know what someone truly thinks until it comes out in an argument. Milo didn't believe in me to become an author. I made income from the books I've sold, but I guess it wasn't enough compared to Milo's full time job.

"Let's be realistic here, Knoxica." Milo says snarky. "I am THE ONE who is paying the bills, buying the groceries. Feeding our cats." He doesn't miss the opportunity to tell me how I've contributed to nothing, and boy it hurts coming out in an argument like this.

"Wow, okay." I roll my eyes. "What's it matter anyways, my agent doesn't believe in me, and apparently neither does my HUSBAND." I shout at him.

" I never said I didn't believe in you, Knoxica." Milo says weakly. "I just need you to be realistic about the reality we face everyday."

I couldn't care less about his version of "reality". Nothing mattered to me anymore. The best decision was probably going to be to quit trying to become an author right now I needed to get a nine to five job, to help pay for our home and life together.

The thought of giving up my passion to write causes my heart to ache. I immediately felt empty.

"It doesn't matter anyways, Milo." I say defeated. "I'm giving up writing, I'm calling Cheryl this week, and telling her I'm done. You win. I'll get a regular old job and we can go back to a normal life."

Hearing the words come out of my mouth felt strange, but I could see that Milo was saddened to hear that come from me. Right as I was about to get up and walk away, Milo quickly grabbed my hands, and held them tightly. I wasn't sure I wanted to be touched right now, but it was also nice, after the argument we just had.

Milo kisses my hand, and I could feel the anger dissipate. Why he couldn't have done this in the beginning, I'll never understand. I could have also handled my emotions better instead of taking it out on him.

" I don't want you to quit writing Knoxi." He says softly, there was sadness in his voice. "I especially don't want you to quit writing because of me."

Did he forget that he just told me my dreams were a fantasy? Did he forget that he belittled me about him having to pay for our home, our groceries? He doesn't want me to quit writing, but he wants me to be realistic about the reality we live every single day. He was contradicting himself.

I didn't want to fight with my husband anymore. There was a war going on inside of my head about what I needed to do career wise, and I needed at least one person on my side. Cheryl clearly wasn't. My kids and I had a wonderful relationship, but they were busy starting their own lives, raising families of their own.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Milo embraced me. All of the anger I had toward Cheryl, toward him, toward my career, was immediately gone.

"I'm sorry I was angry at you and for taking it out on you." My voice breaks. "I... just want to do something I love, but instead I'm disappointing you, my parents, our kids and grandkids." I felt Milo hold me tighter, an unspoken acceptance of my apology.

"You're not disappointing anyone. You are a great mother, a great wife, and your parents would be absolutely proud of you." He kisses my cheek, and that made the tears I've been holding in, fall.

"I'm sorry for the things I've said to you, Knoxi." Milo apologizes to me. "I may be the bread winner right now, but you do a lot to make our house a home. You keep up on the cleaning, cooking, and laundry. You keep our house running smoothly while I'm at work, all on top of writing your books."

"I hope your accept my apology, Milo." I say quietly. "Because I definitely accept yours."

"I accept your apology, and I forgive you." He says warmly, and kisses my cheek once more. "Come on, let's go get dinner started, my love." He stands up, and offers me his hand to help me up and off the couch. Milo was and is still the true definition of a gentleman.

We cooked dinner together, and laughed while cooking. The thought of whether I would continue to write was fresh in the back of my mind. I worry that Milo will eventually get tired of supporting me while I work toward becoming a best-selling author.

But I chose, in that moment, to continue working toward my dream.

to be continued.....